punishment

Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when he wasn’t on a hunger strike, he didn’t eat much and was therefore quite thin and rather frail. He was also a very spiritual person. Furthermore, due to his diet, he had very bad breath. These factors have given him a pace in history as……a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis!

Have You Ever…

Have you ever seen a…board walk?
Have you ever seen a…cat fish?
Have you ever seen a…horse fly?
Have you ever seen a…cow hide?
Have you ever seen a…fish bowl?
Have you ever seen …butter fly?
Have you ever seen a…tuna fish?
Have you ever seen a…banana split?
Have you ever seen a…tuna melt?
Have you ever seen a…sand witch?
Have you ever seen a…tooth brush?
Have you ever seen…hair spray?
Have you ever seen a…can elope?
Have you ever seen a…soda pop?
Have you ever seen a…needle point?
Have you ever seen a…car pet?
Have you ever seen an…ear ring?
Have you ever seen a…toe nail?
Have you ever seen an…egg plant?
Have you ever heard…ice scream?

There was a man who loved to make up puns.  One day a local magazine sponsored a pun-contest. The man entered the contest ten different times in the hope that at least one of his puns would win.  Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.